"Those who trust don't need to control," I hear management theorists who are out of touch with reality preach time and again. For me, this call is pure distortion of reality. Information flows through and from trust. Especially internal information, without which a leader would be leader . Trust is one of the most important economic factors. It is neither a soft skill nor nice to have. Trust is money. That sums it up! This becomes clear when we consider what happens when people withdraw their trust from banks, for example.
The crucial question is: How does trust develop? To clarify one thing up front: Control creates trust. And control permeates our everyday lives—mostly unconsciously—from start to finish. The beep when we press a telephone key gives us the assurance that the number has been entered. Trust grows whenever I keep the statements and promises I have made.
The important thing is to strike the right balance when it comes to control.
Let's take a closer look at the two extremes: there are people who don't control anything, and there are those who control too much. Regarding the former, it must be said that those who don't control anything are either stupid or lazy. The rose-colored glasses of being in love are beautiful, but usually mindless. Of course, this only becomes apparent later on. Not checking things is a desire for a carefree existence that reminds us of our state before birth: 37 degrees, full board, full service, or an "all-inclusive package," as the adverts call it. Seductive, but unrealistic.
And then there is the control freak. They control everything and are constantly afraid of "not being in control." These people are driven by fear, which sows paralysis and systematic mistrust. This is a dangerous obstacle to personal development. Control is essential for this development, but in the right dosage and with the right attitude. Great personalities are characterized by the fact that they trust people even though they are repeatedly hurt.
How do I become a great personality?
Become a criticism pro! If an employee disappoints you, first ask yourself: "Did I formulate the goals precisely? Was my feedback helpful? And did I choose the right employee?" Criticize only the employee's wrong behavior, but never question the person. Criticism is not a vehicle for venting frustration or demonstrating power. It is a professional conversation with the goal of specifically changing a certain behavior.
Use control as a confidence-building measure! Make it clear: I control as objectively as possible and fill in the rest with my subjectivity. Stand by your subjectivity! Those who think they are objective lack personality and self-awareness. Be unyielding when it comes to breaches of trust. Do not tolerate liars, cheats, and schemers, and lead by example. Those who justify your trust will perceive you as fair and, in turn, increase their trust in your leadership.
Communicate extensively and with integrity, both internally and externally!
Be transparent about your goals and intentions, and demand transparency from others. Pass on well-deserved praise to your employees and don't claim it for yourself. Protect them when criticism from outside is inappropriate. Admit mistakes and learn to apologize.
Trust is a serious factor for success that must be handled professionally. The quality of this trust determines success or failure and is not a tool to be played with by unrealistic "hosanna preachers."
That's why you're not really happy.
Why success and fulfillment have nothing to do with each other.
