Before you change your habits, ask yourself what they actually mean to you. Do you view ritualized processes as something positive, or do they evoke negative feelings in you? Are you aware of your rituals?
Our habits shape us. They are naturally ingrained in us. They give us security, confidence, and strength. But how do beneficial habits differ from negative ones? How can we break negative rituals? And can you even change your habits?
The human psyche as the golden mean
To understand why habits are so important for the human mind, it is important to understand the psyche. Humans are sensitive beings whose mental stability is not as secure as we might think.
Imagine the human psyche as the ridge of a roof: to the right and left of the ridge, the ground slopes downwards. So the seemingly safe place is not as safe as it appears at first glance. The same is true of the human psyche. It is unstable and insecure—held and supported by rituals that provide security and orientation.
We can now divide our habits into those that are beneficial and those that are detrimental. So while on one side of the roof ridge there are detrimental rituals that we find annoying, on the other side we find habits that give us strength and are beneficial.
Negative habits cannot be "turned off"
In many cases, we are not consciously aware of whether a habit is beneficial or detrimental, empowering or burdensome. How can we nevertheless manage to get rid of a detrimental ritual, to stop it? The answer is: not at all!
The negative habits that stand in our way cannot simply be removed. But we can change and transform our habits and in this way find our ritual for success. When transforming a habit, it is important to recognize that
- also give security to obstructive habits,
- You can consciously perceive negative rituals,
- and awareness helps you develop a beneficial habit.
Changing negative habits into positive habits
Becoming aware of your own habits helps you to replace negative ritualized behaviors. For example, if you want to drink less coffee, simply cutting out two cups is not helpful. This creates a gap in your habits. Instead, replace these cups with an alternative, such as tea.
It is a completely natural reflex to resort to a harmful habit, as it also provides guidance and strength. We often respond to experienced rejection and the associated hurt with an attack that is intended to give vent to our anger. We feel hurt, and the reaction this provokes is a way of regaining our own security.
Why don't we try instead to give our own psyche time to catch its breath and breathe?
If we do not react aggressively to rejection, but give ourselves time to process what we have experienced, it can become a beneficial trait—a ritual.
Changing habits means consciously leading and guiding
How can you turn beneficial processes into automated processes? And how can you permanently replace harmful habits? To do this, it is important to recognize that both beneficial and harmful habits provide security and orientation. To avoid harmful behavior, it is necessary to act consciously and consistently.
Changing habits is by no means a question of discipline. With discipline, you could break a negative habit, such as drinking coffee. However, you would not consume a substitute for coffee. Your ritual and the security associated with it would be lost.
What is needed here is consistency, because this will enable you to automate the transformation of your habits until they no longer seem unfamiliar and unnatural. With consistency and a conscious eye, it is possible to transform natural rituals and find the rituals for success that help us become the best people we can be.
Our tasks for you:
Become aware of what is holding you back, which habits are standing in your way. Start with small things, even if they seem insignificant. It is not advisable to change your biggest obstructive habit right away. Instead, start with your psyche, your attitudes, and your values.
Our mental stability is sensitive, and much of it happens unconsciously. Use your habits consciously to find your personal ritual for success and change your existing habits.
Your team at the Grundl Leadership Institute
