The final minutes of the game. The score is 1-1. Arjen Robben receives the ball on the right wing, in the middle of the opponent's half. He has to make a split-second decision: cross the ball to his unmarked teammate in the far corner or dribble past his opponent and shoot. As so often, he chooses to dribble. Five seconds later, the ball hits the top left corner. Match winner Robben storms to the sideline in his much too tight shirt to receive the adulation of the crowd. Cheers and shortly after, the final whistle. If he scores, he's the hero. If he misses, he's the fool.
Egocentric, narcissistic, or even a genius? Does Arjen Robben have personality or is he just a bit odd? Bayern's wing wizard shows how great inner tension can lead to peak performance. Narcissism and idealism describe the extreme poles of inner tension. These are the two great driving forces that enable people to achieve great things. "Look how great I am," "I'll show you," cries the narcissist in us. "It can be even better," "We mustn't make any mistakes," resounds the idealist within us. Every reflective person knows these two voices within themselves. However, they are usually expressed to varying degrees.
Narcissist or idealist?
The narcissist wants the thrill of self-affirmation as quickly as possible and overlooks important problems along the way. Problems that become stumbling blocks. He wants everything or nothing. Like Robben: one success in ten attempts. His life is a succession of sensations and catastrophes. The idealist, on the other hand, is driven by the desire for perfection. That's why he achieves so much. Like Phillip Lahm. He wins nine out of ten tackles. He loved solving problems. It kept him alert. Then he was needed. Such a life is characterized by consistency.
Narcissists love achieving goals. They hate the path to achieving them. Idealists love solving the problems that arise on the path to achieving goals. Achieving goals is not the most important thing for them. Narcissists are motivated by goals, idealists by deadlines. In the eyes of the public, idealists are viewed more positively than narcissists. This is a mistake.
Use drive intelligently
Both have a real quirk – but it is wise to use their drive instead of ridiculing or condemning it. Since we know the extremes within ourselves, we should not condemn them in others. We focus on the positive. Inner tension is a form of energy. The question is: Are we slaves or masters of this energy? Am I a slave or master of my narcissism? Do I control my idealism or is it controlling me? The same applies to leadership: How can I make the inner tension in others fruitful? Many people can point out the shortcomings of others, but only a few can transform them. When judging others, we recognize most clearly in them what is most familiar to us, because we already know it from ourselves.
The choice is yours: Do you want to rack your brains over where a person's energy comes from, or do you want to harness your employees' inner tension to produce results with them? Arjen Robben always had leader in Jupp Heynckes, Carlo Ancelotti, and currently Niko Kovač who managed to put Robben the employee at the service of the team without castrating his narcissism. Suddenly, he was willing to solve problems on the defensive. At the same time, smart coaches and managers succeed in turning idealistic workers and problem solvers into guarantors of success who, instead of playing it safe, sometimes choose to take a risky cross. How much of a narcissist or idealist is raging inside you?
Yours, Boris Grundl
Want more inspiration?
Take a look at Facebook, Instagram, or the video blog "Grundl's Reasons." Here, Boris Grundl examines current topics from different perspectives. Always with the question: "What can I take away from this topic for myself and my life?" In the video "Meteorological Start of Winter," for example, he talks about the distinction between "emergence and passing":
The beginning of December marks the meteorological start of winter: an opportunity to talk about transitions, how things come into being and how they pass away. Boris Grundl applies the principle of the four seasons to the day: every day we start something new, go through a phase of creation, experience the blossoming of the day, and let go again in the evening. The same can be applied to product cycles. Where has the principle of creation and passing away had an effect on you this year? Make your life your best teacher and become the best you can be.
Image source: © picselweb Pixabay
