In part 1 of this blog topic, you learned how to consciously engage with your mental presence. The advantage of being more present in conversations is that your communication improves noticeably. It becomes easier, more effortless, and clearer. We presented four ways to train your presence, namely through:
- Mindfulness,
- internal query,
- Note distractions and
- response
While you can directly train your own presence using these four building blocks, you have only limited influence over the presence of your conversation partner. Nevertheless, there are some ways to influence it at least indirectly and thus control the outcome of the communication. The following methods, for example, can help your conversation partner to be more present in the conversation—and not have their mind on yesterday or the day after tomorrow:
- Addressing the issue
Do you feel that the person you are talking to is not fully present mentally? Then one option is to openly address your impression. It is of no use to you if the other person is not fully engaged. Let them know that this is human nature and that you do not take it as a lack of appreciation. Ask your conversation partner what they need in order to let go of their other issue for the moment. - Give them time
Another option is to giveyour conversation partner some time to collect themselves. Take a short break. Give them the opportunity to make notes on the topic that is distracting them. This will allow them to continue the conversation with a clear head. And your conversation will be more productive.
If you notice that your conversation partner's attention is waning, do something unusual to start the conversation. Something refreshing and unexpected. The surprise effect will work. Breaking the pattern in this way overrides habitual (limiting) thought processes and increases your conversation partner's attention.
conversation structure Depending on the conversation setting, it may be appropriate to guide the conversation with a clear structure. For example, with the following phases: explanation of the purpose of the meeting, clarification of the time frame, clarification of goals and expectations, agreement on the agenda or course of the conversation, content section, summary of what has been achieved, formulation of concrete next steps ... This step-by-step structure makes it easier to listen, plan, and also "get back into" the conversation.
There are many distractions. We check emails while we are on the phone, continue writing while a colleague asks us something, or ponder other open projects during a meeting. Those who repeatedly lose focus on the moment live less in the here and now. Instead, they live in yesterday or tomorrow. This leads to misunderstandings, hasty judgments, and failed communication.
Your team at the Grundl Leadership Institute
