Where do you go to strengthen your muscles? And where do you go with a strain? In the first case, to the gym; in the second, to the orthopedist. What about mental blocks, your fears? With an anxiety disorder, you belong with a psychologist, a therapist. But what about the normal fears we all have in abundance? The ones that block our growth without a therapist being responsible? What to do with them? Keep quiet? Compensate? Show no weakness? Go to the "mental gym"?
"Fear" comes from the Latin "angustus": narrowness. "Fear constricted his throat." So says the popular saying. But admitting it is frowned upon—a culture of fear denial, despite its ubiquity. The idea that fear means weakness is still widespread. But on the contrary: it is an incredible force when we learn to use it constructively. When we compensate for it consciously or unconsciously, we are no longer ourselves. This paralyzes and inhibits our development.
Are others "better," less fearful than we are?
No! Humans are creatures of fear. This is confirmed by studies as well as my many years of experience in executive development. Fear is not a negative thing; it ensures our survival. Without it, we would die young from stupidity. We just have to recognize it, accept it, and face it. As slaves, we are at its mercy; as its masters, we turn it into a powerful tool for shaping our development. Master instead of slave. That's what matters.
Many useless traits stem from repressed fear. Greed stems from the fear of missing out. Excessive ambition (the stinginess of honor) drowns out the insecurity of not being recognized. Impatience is the fear of not being able to do something. Fear of rejection makes us yes-men. We cannot escape it by playing dead, running away, or compensating with aggression. We make ourselves servants, even fools, of fear. Those who sense this can take advantage of us. They corner us and slow us down where we could improve.
True courage does not lie in the things we do, ...
... but in overcoming what holds us back. It is not the skydiver who has no fear of heights who is courageous. It is the fearful person who nevertheless dares to climb a ladder. leader a leader who is afraid of not being liked. If she gives in to this fear, she responsibility too little responsibility and prefer to do everything herself. Just don't make yourself unpopular! To be more effective, she needs the triad of transformation—first, intellectual recognition: "I am afraid."Then emotional acknowledgment:"This is what it does to me, and I stand by that."Finally,transformation: "I act courageously anyway."
In doing so, she opts for short-term pain (overcoming) and medium-term joy (employee growth). leader who opt for short-term joy (being popular) will later be unable to rejoice in their employees' development—and in the fact that they are learning from her. For those who react with fear-induced paralysis or aggression will cause paralysis and aggression in others. And those who show that their transformation overcomes fears inspire courageous comrades-in-arms. That is why the wisdom teacher Thích Nhất Hạnh recommends: "Embrace your fear."
This is an extreme challenge. But the "mental gym" helps: challenging goals outshine the constraints. Keep your eye on the result. Let your fear melt away through gratitude for what you have already achieved. Or in short: fall in love with the result and you will conquer your fear along the way. Because those who transform their fear gain a friend who will help them get ahead in life.
Using fear as a source of strength... and saving lives
The Rotary Clubs of Tuttlingen, Hohenkarpfen-Tuttlingen, and Donaueschingen also know how fear can be transformed into strength. For this reason, we would like to invite you to a very special charity event on September 18, 2018. On this day, I will donate my lecture "The Magic of Change"to Rotary's fight against polio.
The largest project Rotary has ever undertaken in its 113-year history—the fight against polio—is called PolioPlus and is nearing its goal: by the end of 2018, the chain of transmission is to be broken worldwide. The €29 admission fee for the event on September 18 will be donated in full to the End Polio Now project. What's more, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation will match the proceeds dollar for dollar. You can find out more in our blog post, here and in the following video.
