Let's talk briefly about Schalke 04, the current runners-up in the German soccer league. While Schalke finished in an outstanding second place in the 2017/2018 Bundesliga season, they are currently at the bottom of the table after five match days and five defeats in the current season. While last season's rising star Domenico Tedesco was celebrated as a coaching messiah, voices are now growing louder (both internally and externally) that doubt his coaching and turnaround abilities.
What parallels are there with leadership? Many!
A good leader always leader by how they handle difficult/challenging situations. When everything is running smoothly, the results are good, and employees are completing all projects on time and within deadlines, leadership is usually enjoyable and almost runs itself. But how does a leader behave leader opposite leader ? The numbers don't add up. Employees and partners are just going through the motions, and conversations with customers are fraught with conflict and become personal and emotional?
The emotional price of leadership is to act professionally and effectively even in such situations. We know that this is not easy. Often, "dark emotions" such as fear, anger, frustration, or aggression play tricks on us. But the question is always: who is leading whom? Are my emotions leading me, or am I leading my emotions? In situations like these, leader act out of emotion or impulse, destroying leadership relationships that have been painstakingly built up. That's a shame.
But how can I remain capable of acting and maintain a positive attitude despite, or perhaps because of, such more or less stressful situations in leadership? With the following five steps, we would like to give you a kind of roadmap.
Five steps for dealing with stressful situations in leadership:
- Challenging situations are completely normal in leadership—they are the emotional price of leadership.
- Who leads whom? Do my "dark" emotions lead me, or do I lead them?
- What is the positive side of the negative in this situation?
- What can I learn from a challenging leadership situation?
- Smile, experience joy, and do something good for yourself
1. Challenging situations are completely normal in leadership.
Conflict-laden situations, different perspectives, and challenges of all kinds are completely normal in leadership. Simply accept challenging situations in leadership and don't judge yourself for them. Much more important than the actual existence of such situations is how you deal with them.
2. Who is leading whom? Are my "dark emotions" leading me, or am I leading them?
Strong "dark emotions" are completely normal and even helpful in challenging situations – the only question is: Do these emotions control me, or do I control them? Make sure that you can express these emotions in a safe space and use them to your advantage. At the same time, always remain professional in front of employees and customers. An external coach or sparring partner can also be helpful in such situations. Please do not allow yourself to be tempted into ad hoc actions based on emotion.
3. What is the positive aspect of the negative in this situation?
If you think about it deeply, you will surely recognize a few points. These could be personal development points, such as strengthening your leadership skills or enduring the situation—which should be recognized as a positive skill. As a suggestion for implementation, we recommend that you create a list that you consistently add to every day, thereby repeating the "positive points" over and over again.
4. What can I learn from a challenging leadership situation?
Every challenging situation is a learning opportunity. The question is: Do I learn from the situation or do I repeat the same mistake over and over again? The following questions are very helpful as learning opportunities: What insights have I gained from the situation? What will I do differently in the future to avoid ending up in such a situation again?
5. Smile, experience joy, and do something good for yourself
Distract yourself. Go to the movies or treat yourself to a spa night or sauna visit. It is also important to shift your focus away from the conflict-ridden situation, experience joy, and enjoy life. A convivial evening at a bar is often just as effective as a weekend hike in the mountains—the main thing is that you have fun, enjoy yourself, and distract yourself.
We wish you every success in implementing this and are happy to act as your sparring partner in challenging leadership situations.
That's why you're not really happy.
Why success and fulfillment have nothing to do with each other.
Image source: Pixabay ©taniadimas
