Are we a nation of egoists? Do we only think of ourselves? It is clear that "selflessness" is socially desirable. Sacrificing oneself for others. The conclusion is that no matter how justified a decision in our favor may be, there will always be someone who considers us selfish—a distortion caused by social pressures of perception.
Let's take a closer look. To do this, it helps to differentiate between selfishness and egocentricity. At its core, selfishness is the inability to empathize with others. I am not aware of the needs of others. That's why there's a difference between seeing someone and deliberately ignoring them, and not noticing them at all. If I take the last sandwich at the buffet even though someone standing next to me has the same intention and I don't care about their needs at all, that's selfishness. If I'm so preoccupied with my own hunger that I don't even register the other person's needs, even though I could, that's egocentricity.
Of course, every person has to deal with selfishness and egocentricity in their "self."
Added to this is egomania. It is the constant fear of missing out that forces us to be ruthless. Based on my many years of coaching experience, my thesis is that we are mostly dominated by egocentricity. We focus too often on ourselves and our needs. What we think, believe, or feel quickly becomes the ultimate truth.
"Making a mountain out of a molehill," as the saying goes. A tightness in the chest becomes a harbinger of an impending heart attack. The noisy construction site at the hotel during a dream vacation becomes a frustrated rejection of the entire vacation destination. The yelling boss becomes a general hothead. This is called cognitive distortion.
It would often be much more helpful to "turn an apparent elephant into a mosquito."
We don't see the progress
Economist Max Roser has been collecting data worldwide for years and systematically evaluating it. He says: "We exaggerate the negative. We don't see progress because we're not aware of how bad things used to be." Referring to his research findings, he notes that 41 percent of Chinese believe the world is changing for the better. In Germany, the figure is just 4 percent. In 1820, only 17 out of 100 people had a school education; in 2015, the figure was 86. Is poverty on the rise? In 1820, 94 out of 100 people lacked the bare necessities; today, the figure is only 10. Does that mean everything is great? Of course not. It just shows how much egocentricity dominates us.
We believe what we see, and that becomes our view of the world. Media researchers claim that this is 80 percent controlled by the media. And, of course, horror stories dominate by far. The fatal thing about this is that, according to a recent study, false news spreads twenty times faster than true news on social media. We have to be extremely careful and vigilant about what we allow into our heads.
Making things better with gratitude
We lead a wonderful life in Germany: no war, no hunger, a rich culture, and the freedom to develop our full potential. Never before have the opportunities to lead a free, self-determined life been so great. What a gift!
Let's see what's there and what needs to be improved. Both. At the same time. And then let's approach it with gratitude and make things even better. Let's just stand up to cognitive bias. By thinking intensively, looking deeper, and keeping our eyes on the essentials. It's worth it!
More inspiration on the topic of perception and gratitude ...
... you can find out in the latest video episode"World Peace Day and Gratitude Day – being grateful vs. acting grateful"from Grundls Gründe. Here, I invite you to think about when you personally feel deep gratitude for your life. And in which situations you are merely confronted with the expectation of having to show gratitude. Because we all know the oppressive expectation from outside that we have to be grateful without really being so. I talk about this distinction in the video.
