Make me happy! A mantra of our time. Parents must not make mistakes so that their children will be happy. Children should make their parents happy, spouses should make each other happy, and bosses should make their employees happy. A purchase should make us just as happy as a vacation or mindfulness meditation on the weekend. And yes—politicians should also make their voters happy. Welcome to the madhouse of happiness delegation.
A media "wave of happiness" has created incredible expectations. Woe betide anyone who fails to live up to these expectations. Then there's pressure! But happiness research provides interesting insights: "Happy are those who are content and have more pleasant than unpleasant feelings." According to this, friends, health, relationships, money, love, sex, vacations, or careers themselves do not make us happy, but rather our subjective feelings. This also explains why fame seekers, beauty fanatics, and money hunters are less happy than those with normal ambitions. They can't get enough.
Is happiness simply a matter of interpretation?
Global studies repeatedly show that Germans are less happy than people from other countries. Denmark often tops the list, with Germany lagging far behind in the middle of the pack. Overall, Latin America is considered the happiest continent. In Denmark, the land of happiness, there is even a flurry of research on the topic of "happiness based on genetic predisposition." The international hunt for the Danish happiness gene is on.
When I read this, it makes my blood boil! Do I have to let others tell me what happiness is and what makes me happy? How can others know or judge whether I am already happy or can be happy? I have often found that the more a married couple demonstrates their happiness, the closer they are to divorce. It's so simple and yet so difficult: happy are those who consider themselves to be so—and not those who appear to be so to others.
Just be happy
I myself am severely disabled. Ninety percent of my muscles no longer obey me. When I tell people, "So what? That has no bearing on my sense of happiness," I am met with incredulous looks. The fact that I don't explain myself further unsettles people because I simply don't care whether they believe me. Any justification to the outside world would only feed my own insecurity. What do you think of the following idea: Just be happy because you are alive! Neither your boss, nor a colleague, a partner, your children, friends, or anyone else can take this attitude away from you—that's what I call freedom!
Through observation and self-awareness, I am convinced that the more a person knows themselves, the more they remain true to themselves and do not lose themselves in the outside world. The more they know themselves, the better they understand what is good for them. As a result, they compare themselves less with others. The more a person knows themselves, the clearer their roles and mental limitations become, and the more likely they are to shape these factors according to their own ideas. Such a person lives more than they are lived and can shape their life more freely. The more freely a person can shape their life, the more consciously they can make their decisions.
The price of freedom
That is the price of freedom: making decisions for your own happiness and taking responsibility the decisions you make. It took me a long time to understand why my quality of life and thus my happiness grew along with my personal responsibility. Perhaps this will help you understand the words of philosopher Wilhelm Schmid:
"My parents didn't even know the word 'happiness,' and they were the happiest people I've ever met."
Yours, Boris Grundl
P.S. You can also read about my book on the topic of "Make me happy – How to get what everyone wants"here: www.machmichgluecklich.de
Are you looking for more inspiration?
Take a look at Facebook, Instagram, or the video blog "Grundl's Reasons." Here, Boris Grundl examines current topics from different perspectives. Always with the question: "What can I take away from this topic for myself and my life?" In the video "Martin Luther," for example, he talks about the distinction between "the will to change and resistance":1
Martin Luther brought about change in the Catholic world when he nailed his theses to the door of the Wittenberg Castle Church in 1517. However, his actions were not met with universal approval. In this video, Boris Grundl explores the distinction between the will to change and resistance to change. Although we humans have an inherent desire for change, our environment constantly presents us with obstacles that cause us to question ourselves. Only by confronting these obstacles can we bring about true change. Make your life your best teacher and become the best you can be.
Image source: ©Foto-Rabe Pixabay
