The Gobi Desert. Dryness. Drought. Sand as far as the eye can see. Scattered sparse trees that have been thirsting for rain for years. Water is the most important resource for ensuring the survival of trees. For them to grow and develop strength. But nature withholds water from them. Dry spell. The result: the trees are slowly dying out.
Lena, 21, a third-year apprentice, currently feels like a dried-up tree in a desert. At her last performance review, she asked her boss for feedback. Feedback on her performance, on her impact in meetings, feedback on her interactions with customers. Why?
Lena is eager to learn and wants to improve. She needs guidance, especially at the beginning of her career. One year after her first performance review, Lena takes stock. Once again, she has received little to no feedback. As a result, she is becoming more discouraged and anxious. She doesn't know if she is doing her job right. She actually wants to grow, become stronger, and develop further. Like a tree in the desert. But unfortunately, she too is being deprived of the water she needs to survive...
Why feedback?
To get straight to the point: without feedback, people "dry up" like trees without water. Why is that? Let's first take a look at what feedback actually means.
In communication, feedback simply means providing feedback on what the recipient of a message has perceived from the sender. No more and no less. This external feedback is, of course, very subjective and not always correct or accurate. Feedback serves the sole purpose of helping you to understand yourself better. It is intended to provide guidance on how you are currently performing. It is also a good way to help someone gain more self-confidence and give them specific points for development. You can find out how to do this in a playful way at the end of this article in the section "Feedback guidelines for your leadership practice."
Regular feedback symbolizes to the other person: "I see you. I observe you. I notice you. I give you feedback because I am interested in you. As a person and as an employee."The opposite would be to ignore the employee, not to see them. This leads to resignation, frustration, and disorientation. People who receive little or no feedback in life wither emotionally. In psychology, this effect of low attention is also called "hospitalism."
That's why the goal should be to give as much feedback as possible, collect just as much, and carefully consider whether it helps me move forward. Imagine an empty basket. You carry this metaphorically under your arm. Whenever you receive feedback, you put it in this basket. When you have a quiet moment, you can look at what's in the basket. Which feedback you want to take to heart and which you want to discard. Because you decide what you accept and what you don't!
Common feedback mistakes
1. Feedback is confused with praise!
Feedback does not just mean praise. It can be part of effective feedback. It is equally important to point out areas that can be improved. If you only give praise, it quickly comes across as flattery. Do you remember the people in your life who encouraged you the most? Did they only praise you, or did they also clearly communicate the areas where you still had potential and could improve? Feedback is effective and lasting when both elements are combined.
2. Feedback is imprecise!
Are you familiar with this situation? You receive feedback, but it lacks substance. It sounds as if the person giving the feedback didn't really observe you properly. In order for the recipient of the feedback to accept it, you need to observe precisely what you notice and communicate this. Feedback should always have substance. The more substantial and precise it is, the more likely the other person is to take your feedback seriously and accept it.
3. Deliver monologues!
Have you ever heard the following statement from someone giving feedback?"If I were you, I would do it completely differently! I would have solved it like this..."Do you remember who the feedback is intended for? Solely for the person receiving the feedback. They need to recognize whether they are on the right track. They need to be given guidance. So take a step back and put the other person first. How would you feel if you received feedback and the other person was just talking to themselves? Always ask yourself: What will my feedback do for the person? How will they benefit from it?
Feedback guidelines for your leadership practice
In our management seminars, we help participants learn how to give effective feedback. The aim is to increase employees' self-confidence and identify specific areas for development in a concise, precise, and respectful manner.
The following three-step method has become established:
- Obtain permission from the feedback recipient:
"May I give you some feedback on your impact?" - Building self-confidence:
"I really liked that...!" (name two or three specific points) - Name a point for development:
"I would have liked it if...!" / "Your impact will increase if you...!" (name one or two points)
Of course, you can also leave out the development point. Your employee will be pleased if you tell them what you liked. Consider this three-step method for effective feedback as a guideline, and decide for yourself which points you want to use, when, and how.
That's why you're not really happy.
Why success and fulfillment have nothing to do with each other.
Image source: ©Pixabay – Goumbik
