The project was nearing completion. In two weeks,the new drug would finally be on the market, and now Robert was desperately working on the presentation for the management. And there they were again, those agonizing thoughts:"What if the presentation doesn't go well?" "What if the drug isn't successful on the market?"
Horrific scenarios played out in his head. He had just bought a house with his wife, as well as a new car for the upcoming addition to the family. He mentally prepared arguments for the discussion with his boss as to why he shouldn't fire him, and asked himself again and again why he had led himself and his family into such financial dependence. Especially during this difficult phase of his job.
Inside, he was seething. He stood in front of the window in his office and gazed into the distance, at the houses, shops, and thousands of people walking through the streets.
In truth, he didn't really recognize any of that. All he could see in his mind's eye were problems, fears, and all the bad things that would happen.
Then it happened. Robert felt sick from one second to the next. His vision blurred and he thought it was all over for him—that he was going to die. His heart was racing, the lump in his throat was getting bigger and bigger, and he was finding it increasingly difficult to breathe. He could no longer control his body.
But it wasn't his last hour, it was his first real panic attack. "Why me?" he asked himself. "Why is this happening to me? And why now?"
He hadn't been in control of his life for a long time. Robert had been controlled by his doubts, worries, and fears for a very long time. He worked every day from morning to night, but his mind was everywhere and nowhere. Now he was paying the price for it.
Mindfulness – the key to yourself
We often hear stories like this in our coaching sessions. This one is also based on a true story. Robert came to us for coaching shortly after his first panic attack during a company-wide implementation of Leading Simple. At the time, he was preoccupied with questions he couldn't answer and had things on his mind that he couldn't get done.
Now we ask you, dear readers: How often do you want to live up to the expectations of others? How often do you struggle with self-doubt? How often are you preoccupied with thoughts like"What if..."or"If only I had..."? How often do you feel constrained by the expectations that the whole world imposes on you and that you force yourself to live up to just so you don't stand out in a negative way?
We call this construction a self-made hamster wheel that will never stop turning—no matter how much overtime you work. The question we want to ask is: What gets left behind? It is the here and now. The moment you are in right now. Your own mindfulness. Endurance, parking, and letting go. (See also: https://www.grundl-institut.de/blog/dinge-loszulassen/)
Start your own book!
Imagine your life as a stage on which a play is being performed. You are the leading actor. The question is: Whose script are you following? Is your story dictated by others? By societal constraints?
We would like to invite you to pick up the pen and write your own script more often. It is your life, and you have this one role to play on your own stage. You cannot change that. But you can fill this role and write the script yourself.
However, there is one thing you need to do to succeed: start in the here and now! Because that is where you are right now. I would like to recommend a very good book by the Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh: Mindful Speaking, Mindful Listening: The Art of Conscious Communication. (Available on Amazon, among other places.)
Speaking of books...
Do you remember the last really good book you read? Why does reading a good book relax us? There are certainly many reasons for this. But for me, one particularly important reason is that we immerse ourselves in the here and now of the book. In a good story, we are close to the protagonist. We perceive all of their senses. We smell, taste, feel, see, and hear as they do—and we feel it in real time.
If you want to bring a story to life as an author, you have to describe it in as much detail as possible. This is the only way readers can immerse themselves in the moment that the protagonist is experiencing in the story.
You can also use this effect for yourself when your own mindfulness has once again deserted you. It works according to a modified exercise by writer and psychologist Yvonne Dolan—the so-called 5-4-3-2-1 method.
If you ever find yourself (again) in a situation where you feel intense fear or anxiety, or even feel a panic attack coming on, try to imagine the following:
The curtain rises on the stage of your life. Observe everything that is happening and describe it as if you were the author of a story: Where are you right now? What are you doing? What do you see? What do you hear? How do you feel? Describe all of this in your mind as if you were writing it down as a scene in a chapter of your book. Go into such detail until you realize that you are completely back to yourself—in the here and now. This little exercise can already help you regain your mindfulness. If you find it difficult to let go of thoughts about the past and future, you can also tell the story in the third person and in the past tense. (Example: "Robert stood in front of the window in his office. It smelled of freshly brewed green tea, which was still untouched on his desk. The sun was so bright that he had to force himself not to squint his eyes completely...")
The important thing here is to focus on your external perceptions and not on the negative thoughts or fears inside you.
With the help of this exercise, you should be able to bring yourself back to the present and take control again within a few minutes.
Things are rarely as bad as the thoughts in your head would have you believe. Good luck with your own mindfulness practice.
Your team at the Grundl Leadership Institute
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