Clara is the mother of four school-age children. Her youngest son was doing worse at school than his siblings. Clara used to tell her youngest that he simply didn't have what it takes to succeed at school. He would have to work harder and harder. According to his mother, he didn't have what it takes to graduate from high school. Because he wasn't cut out for it.
The young student heard these phrases over and over again. Eventually, he became convinced of his mother's words. The result: he never considered getting his high school diploma. He had ruled it out early on. Many years later, after Clara had acquired knowledge about how the subconscious mind works, it dawned on her. She understood that her youngest son would have been just as capable as his brother and sisters.
How often have other people said similar things to you? Things that you supposedly cannot do or achieve?
In today's blog article, you will learn how statements like Clara's manifest themselves and affect other people from a psychological perspective, and how they can counteract them themselves.
The subconscious as a record
Imagine your subconscious as a long-playing record. We are born with a shiny, pure vinyl record that has never been grooved. At birth, every human being is free of ideas about what can and cannot be achieved. Every person is free of prejudices, bad habits, and conditioning. As soon as we enter the world, the grooves begin. With every word we hear and every thought we think, the grooves in this record are continued. Over time, certain sections become deeper and deeper. And we tend to repeat the behavior patterns that have become most deeply ingrained. People are most strongly influenced at the beginning of their lives by their immediate family environment. Later on, by the people we most often surround ourselves with. We are then "programmed."
Being programmed also means that our choices are significantly limited. Your brain will use all its power to ensure that you live according to the programs that are currently anchored in your subconscious. These thoughts are then the root of your actions.
A fascinating figure
How would you assess the relationship between your conscious and subconscious mind? Most people spontaneously think of the iceberg model, in which approximately ten percent of our behavior is controlled by the conscious mind (e.g., thoughts, feelings, desires) and 90 percent by the subconscious mind (e.g., genetic factors, instincts, traumatic experiences, personality traits, repressed conflicts, or fears).
Recent studies show that the discrepancy between the conscious and subconscious mind is much greater. In her adult education courses, Vera F. Birkenbihl coined the ratio of eleven millimeters (conscious mind) to eleven kilometers (subconscious mind).
How do you feel when you read this ratio?
75 percent of self-talk works against us
Did you know that people talk to themselves all the time? In their inner dialogue. Negative examples of self-talk are:
- I just can't seem to make any progress with my work.
- I'm having a bad day today.
- Every time I talk to her/him, we end up arguing.
- When I see something cheap, I just can't resist.
- I can't dance / flirt / speak in front of people.
- I never manage to get up on time in the morning.
Scientists have discovered that 75 percent of our self-talk works against us. Your subconscious mind does not care where the programming comes from. It will simply accept as true the information fed to it by conscious thoughts. Like a funnel that lets out at the bottom what was put in at the top. It doesn't matter whether this information is right or wrong, or whether it is for our benefit or detriment. Your subconscious will do everything it can to make the programs you think about most often come true.
How do you talk to yourself silently?
In one of our management training courses, a participant discovered a "false" programming in herself: as a child, her parents suggested to her that she couldn't sing, even though she enjoyed it very much at the time and had a great voice. Because of her parents' assessment, she stopped singing. She thought, "I can't do it!" This sentence accompanied the woman for years. Thirty years later, she discovered the root of this programming. It was controlled from outside, by her parents, and what they said did not correspond to reality. Today, the participant sings in the church choir again, very successfully – thanks to her new programming: "I can sing."
Are there topics that make you say to yourself,"I can't do that anyway,""I'm not good at that,"or"I've never been able to do that"? I invite you to examine where these thoughts come from. Have they perhaps been imposed on you from outside? Do they correspond to reality?
New programs with autosuggestions
The strength of the program depends on how often the same or similar information is repeated. What exactly does that mean? The more often we repeat new, "beneficial"phrases to ourselves, the greater the influence on our subconscious and, as a result, on our actions. These phrases are also called autosuggestions—the targeted influencing of the subconscious.
Richard Branson
British entrepreneur and billionaire Richard Branson, founder of the Virgin Group, spent half his life afraid of speaking in front of people. He avoided it at all costs. He was downright panicked, imagining horror scenarios in his mind before appearances, such as how the audience would reject him. After recognizing his programming and consciously changing his mindset with new thoughts ("I love speaking in front of people. They are interested in what I have to say"), he achieved new results. Today, Branson is a passionate speaker. Thanks to autosuggestion.
Examples of new autosuggestions:
- I'm making progress at work.
- Today is a great day.
- Every time I talk to him or her, we understand each other better.
- When I see something cheap, I can say no.
- I have a talent for ... / I'm catching up ... / I'm getting a little better every day ...
- As soon as I wake up in the morning, I feel fit and well rested.
It is important to establish routines and opportunities for practice. For example, we can recite some autosuggestions immediately after waking up. Or regularly while driving. Every red light is a welcome opportunity. Or while exercising, walking, or after meditating. Before your afternoon nap or shortly afterwards. In the evening, just before falling asleep...
We invite you to go on a treasure hunt. What hidden treasures can you find that were previously buried for you?
Have fun finding your personal treasure!
Image source: © Pixabay – DKunert
