Accepting myself means standing by my side—now you might think, yes, that's obvious!
To help you understand this better, I would like to invite you to do an exercise. Imagine your best friend. How do you behave toward them? How do you maintain your friendship with them? Suppose your friend is not doing well, what would you do?
You probably encourage him when he is depressed. You cheer him up when he is discouraged. You are understanding when he makes a mistake. You say nice things to him, stand by him even in difficult times, give him gifts sometimes, respect and value his opinion. You take him seriously, don't make fun of him, are tolerant towards him, and so on. Is that about right?
Well, so far it's simple and understandable. But how do you treat yourself when you're not feeling well? How do you talk to yourself when you've made a mistake? How often do you reward yourself when you've done something well? How understanding are you towards yourself? Could it be that it's not so simple anymore?
How often do we reject our anger, pain, or fear? I suppress all of this by denying my feelings to myself, trying to explain them away, or searching my brain for hidden corners to bury the facts there.
impact
What effect does it have when I deny or conceal what is there? Obviously, it does not exist for me. But it is there. If I refuse to accept that I sometimes live irresponsibly, how can I learn to live more responsibly? I cannot overcome fears if I do not acknowledge their reality. If I repress the fact that I have problems dealing with a colleague at work, I cannot resolve them. Only by facing the problem head-on can I change the situation.
The same applies to characteristics that may be unpopular. If I insist that I do not have them, I cannot change anything. Suppose you repeatedly resort to white lies out of a strong need for harmony so as not to hurt others. If you do not accept this reality of your actions, how can you begin a process of change?
The shadows are part of us too
self-acceptance
How can I work on accepting myself as I am?
Self-acceptance is the willingness to say "That's me" about every emotion or behavior without sugarcoating it. Every reaction is an expression of who I am. Think about your friend again. Treat yourself the same way. Avoid self-judgment. Be understanding toward yourself when you make a mistake. Be patient with yourself, especially when something doesn't work out right away. Just as you nurture friendships with other people, you must also nurture your friendship with yourself. This doesn't work if you only do it once and then leave it at that. You must continually strive to nurture your friendship with yourself.
How can you expect great things from yourself if you constantly doubt yourself, consider yourself incompetent and stupid, and constantly criticize and belittle yourself?
Only when we accept ourselves, encourage ourselves, and don't give up on ourselves do we have the strength and endurance to solve problems and achieve our goals.
How do you treat yourself on a daily basis? Do you criticize yourself and focus on what you lack, or do you nurture self-affirming thoughts and look at everything you have achieved so far and how wonderful you are?
Image source: Pixabay
