In your opinion, what distinguishes a winner? Today, I would like to tell you about two types of people. As an example, I will share the stories of two school friends who had the same goal in mind: they both wanted to become teachers. For many, this is a calling! So they both enrolled at university. "Everything comes so easily to you," one of them said to the other at some point. And indeed, during his internship, Raphael is always on time, he masters difficulties with students, and successfully teaches his first lesson. Phillip, on the other hand, feels rather compelled to do it. He has to do the internship in order to progress in his studies. Raphael, on the other hand, wants to do the internship because he knows that this is the only way he can gain his own experience.
As a result, the success of the internship is also quite different for the two of them. "I find it all more difficult than you do. I study every evening at home and on the train. I really want this—and to do that, I have to pass the course," explains Phillip. "You, on the other hand, are just a winner. It's always been that way. It comes easily to you—just like back in school: always the winner!" Phillip drops out after three semesters and starts an apprenticeship as a banker. Eventually, he would find another path, perhaps as a vocational school teacher. Five years later, Raphael and Phillip talk again about their time at university together. Raphael is now a teacher and Phillip is still a banker. "It was obvious that you would make it. Everything you touch turns to gold." But is Raphael really just a winner?
"Desire for performance" as a principle
Because Raphael always had his goal in mind and recognized what tools he needed, he achieved his desired result. It was a matter of managing resources, recognizing when what needed to be learned, and what performance was required where. It's less about being a winner or the best at everything—it's about being the best version of yourself.
Before my accident, I was a competitive athlete, not only in action but also in my heart. I was able to develop this absolute passion for the sport I loved in tennis and paired it with an extreme willingness to perform. Because physical exertion was good for me, very good indeed. I read somewhere that people with blood type O must exercise, while those with blood types A and B can exercise—and I have blood type O. I have no idea if that's true, but it feels that way to me. In any case, the willpower I developed through sports has remained with me as a fundamental philosophy beyond sports.
The principle ofzest for remained with me after the accident, although not every serious accident victim manages to rekindle this inner fire and develop a similar passion. Thankfully, I have succeeded in transferring the idea behind sport into everyday life. Self-pity and bitterness are just as dangerous as the resignation of those around you, who stifle your initiative by offering too much help. Today, I am very grateful to my grandfather and my mentors: they took great care to ensure that I did not wallow in cynicism or self-pity during difficult periods of growth. My grandfather, who had lived through the war, knew people who were broken inside by the disabilities they had brought back with them from the war. That was his great concern, which is why he gave me very clear feedback. His warnings sometimes hurt, but they helped me a lot.
So I took up competitive sports again. I was able to travel around the world and experience so much: Toronto, Tampa, Hong Kong, Sydney. It was a great gift. Almost incidentally, my disability became a matter of course. I had a wonderful time. In 1996, I became German runner-up in wheelchair rugby for the first time, and in 1997, I became German champion in wheelchair tennis. A year later, I was voted best European wheelchair rugby player. In 1999, I was part of the German national team and we became European vice-champions. In 2000, I was able to go to the Paralympics in Sydney and was invited to a live interview on the sports show.
It's not about winning
Does all this make me a winner? I'll let you in on a secret: I don't like to beat others, I'm not competitive, I don't get a kick out of outdoing others, even if it often seems that way. I've often caught myself feeling happy for others when they draw strength from a victory—even when they've beaten me. Competitive people certainly don't do that. Competitive people compare themselves to others and want to outdo them, to be the best. With a hundred employees, only one can be the best: one winner, 99 losers. I don't like that principle. But with the principle of "become the best person you can be," there can be a hundred winners—and I like that.
Therefore, please view competition as pure development aid and not as a threat or confirmation of dominance—whether internal or external. You don't have to be a competitor or a winner because you don't have to defeat anyone. Just become the best person you can be and help others achieve this for themselves. Don't be better, be different – then there will be more winners. Being better means defeating others and leads to thinking higher, faster, and further. Being different means uniqueness and leads to thinking more flexibly, clearly, and deeply.
For me, it was also important to transform the topic of sports and performance over time. Today, I keep fit with strength training and handcycling. Of course, this also requires a certain amount of self-discipline and consistency, because at the gym it takes me a lot of time and effort to get in and out of the equipment from my wheelchair. Every time I train, I feel the respect with which my efforts are viewed. Some people, however, look at me with pity: to them, I am their personified nightmare. But over time, I have become a role model for many. People often say to me, "After seeing you here, I no longer have any excuse not to train." That makes me happy. My consistency also has a very important result for me. Without this training, I would never be able to handle the stress of traveling and the demands of my work as a coach and speaker at such a high level.
First increase – then maintain
Since I've been doing everything with my shoulders and arms for 29 years, today it's more about general fitness and no longer about improving performance. Nevertheless, an unexpected form of self-discipline comes up because I have to consciously rein myself in during training: sometimes, when I'm not paying attention, the competitive athlete in me comes out. He wants to go faster, higher, further. He then rides his handbike too fast up the mountain and wants to explore unfamiliar terrain. Once I even had to call the police because I got stuck on a narrow path on a slope. I haven't completely transformed this guy in me yet, but I'm working on it. We are slowly becoming friends, and I am also developing a passion for this process.
In the past, it was all about increasing, today it's all about maintaining. I haven't yet reached the stage of unconscious competence, but I'm on my way. In business, too, a lot of the focus is on improving performance. But the "higher, faster, further" craze is reaching its limits. We need to rethink: climate, energy, environment—many people are already aware of this. That's why the future will be about being more flexible, clearer, and deeper. Being less better, being more different. In other words, you don't have to be a "competitor"—you have to be someone who conquers excuses.
Observe yourself even more closely. Where do you draw your energy from? From defeating others? You can tell by how happy you are when others fail. Or do you draw energy from defeating yourself? Learn how inspiring it is to feel superior to your former self. That makes you a real winner. Use comparisons with others purely as a means of development.
