A lack of integrity has a major impact on your life. But before we look at the practical side of things, think about the word: integrity. Do you think of others first, or do you immediately think of your own integrity? And how does integrity feel to you? Do you associate the term with heaviness and effort, or does it have something to do with pleasure, lightness, or even joy?
How often do we see people in public and judge them when we notice that their words and actions do not match? Before we condemn others, we should first humbly look at ourselves and test our ability to criticize. Do we ourselves live with a lack of integrity?
Distinguish between desire and will
To counteract a lack of integrity, it is important to distinguish between desire and will. When people make promises or announce actions, their words correspond to their desires or the expectations of others—a kind of declaration of intent. On the other hand, there is action, which is equivalent to will. If someone says something but does not put it into practice, what they say does not correspond to their will.
Another principle: Start observing yourself. Tell yourself: "If I do something, then I want to do it." This reality check will help you maintain your integrity.
Learn to take something so seriously that it becomes an expression of your will—and don't get carried away by illusions.
An example: Many people think they can handle criticism. But when they receive criticism, they find it difficult to deal with. Instead, they believe they recognize a strength in themselves that does not actually exist in that form.
Remember: your real self corresponds to an idealized image. At this point, we are talking about an image. This is the reason why many people think they are something they are not.
Every person has areas in which their integrity is particularly high. This means that their desires and will, words and actions are particularly closely aligned. However, there are also areas in which a lack of integrity is evident—and we try to conceal this. So that our image is right.
Understand instead of judge
Those who can accept themselves are better able to understand and respect others.
Ask yourself: Does it make sense to lie to someone? And conversely: Does it make sense to be lied to by someone? Or is someone else's lie different from your own? This will help you recognize how differently you define integrity in others. Start working on yourself and don't accuse others of lacking integrity. The better your results will be.
My weekly task for you: This week, try to catch yourself in situations where your own integrity is high and where it is rather low. Don't take high integrity for granted, and forgive yourself for moments of lacking integrity. The same applies to others: observe those around you and forgive them too when their words and actions are not always consistent.
Yours, Boris Grundl
[home office]
