Why others sometimes don't understand us
Every person is confronted with countless pieces of information from their environment throughout the course of a day. Depending on individual personality, this information is perceived through sensory channels of varying intensity and transmitted to the brain. There, it is decoded and linked together.
Over the course of their lives, each person develops "favorite perception channels" through which they prefer to perceive and learn. Some people learn best by listening, others when a topic is presented visually (diagrams, graphics, or images), and still others when they can actively engage with a topic, e.g., by touching or trying it out.
In almost all cases, one of the senses is strongly dominant. Another is also of crucial importance, and the third is rather underdeveloped. Depending on the dominant channel, the following types of perception and learning are distinguished (please note that most people have mixed forms):
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[mks_two_thirds]Visual perception and learning type
- prefers to take in information through the eyes
- Visual cues such as movement, shape, and color are well remembered.
- prefers graphical representations
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[mks_two_thirds]Auditory perception and learning type
- prefers to take in information with their ears
- can follow conversations well
- enjoys using audiobooks and is good at memorizing things
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[mks_two_thirds]Kinesthetic perception and learning type
- prefers to take in information through feelings
- learns particularly easily when he can do something himself (e.g., trying things out)
- likes puzzles, metaphors, and stories
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In addition to individual learning strategies, perception types are also reflected in a person's behavior, language, and body language.
What happens when two types of perception collide?
In conversations, people naturally tend to present topics to others using their own dominant channel of perception. However, this is not always the best strategy for the other person to absorb information. It can lead to incomprehension and misunderstandings. That is why it is very advantageous in communication to know which sensory channel our counterpart uses to absorb information most easily, so that we can adapt accordingly.
How can I recognize the perception type of the person I am talking to?
Visual learners often speak loudly, quickly, and with lots of gestures. The content often deals with visions or images (e.g., "I already have a clear picture in my head"). The speed of their speech is also reflected in their body language. Visual learners usually walk with long, energetic strides and turn their head and body very quickly. Their eye movements are also very fast.
Auditory people, on the other hand, speak in a quiet, monotonous sing-song tone. In conversation, they often turn one ear toward their conversation partners and seek less direct eye contact. The language of auditory people often includes content related to hearing (e.g.,"I'm all ears"). The body language and facial expressions of auditory people are usually minimal, and their gait is calm and rather deliberate.
Kinesthetic people usually speak slowly and gently and often think for a while before saying anything. Their language contains many phrases and words related to feelings (e.g.,"I have a good feeling about this"). Some also seek physical contact during conversations—with themselves and with their conversation partner (e.g., on the shoulder or forearm). Kinesthetic people walk slowly and deliberately, and their body language is also contemplative.
Only when you understand how you and other people perceive, interpret, and react to situations can you achieve the desired effect with your words. Therefore, you should acquire the ability to communicate effectively by acting in a manner appropriate to your type. Get to know yourself and your own perception type, and learn how to first understand your counterpart and then reach them verbally.
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