Sometimes it is difficult to understand. Your partner, your boss, questionable party programs, or politicians who put the world on alert. But understanding is the key to future success. Why? A deeper intellectual grasp is the basis of all growth. Whether it's people, markets, or cultures. Understanding is the cornerstone on the path to change and top results. Those who understand deeply see more clearly, recognize what is really at stake, and make the best decisions. But most people confuse "understanding" with "agreeing": when confronted with things that do not correspond to their own point of view, they shut down. They stop thinking about it, dealing with it, reflecting on it. They judge prematurely. The topic is excluded, ignored in the best case. In the worst case, it is fought against.
Please understand me first!
Instead of wanting to understand the unknown, many people prefer to seek confirmation of their own point of view. If their opinion and the world do not agree, then the world must be wrong. And many then try to manipulate the world—and the people around them—to fit their own ideas. The desire for confirmation trumps the desire to learn. But this keeps the mind small and the results weak. It leads to stagnation. The demand "World, please understand me first!" then dominates the motive "I want to understand the world – and thus the people in it – first." This difference in order has a huge effect. It is a wise art to understand deeply without having to agree – with the actions of the powerful, with the words of the boss, with the lifestyle of the neighbor or life partner. But many people fall into the trap of quick judgment. Because the brain likes simplicity. It wants to quickly restore peace and order after unfamiliar impulses. That's why we immediately resort to tried-and-tested simple thought patterns: "He's crazy," "That's right or wrong," "I already know that," or "I don't like that."
Mentally park what you hear and let it sink in
For me, learning to understand was the catalyst for my career. But this realization was very difficult for me. As a young man, I was fascinated by people who stood out from the average because of their achievements in life. I knew there was something to their words. But what that something was was beyond my comprehension. I couldn't understand them because I didn't agree with them. And so I remained mentally stuck in the same place. What they said sometimes struck me as arrogant, self-righteous, and morally dubious.
But I learned to mentally park what I heard, not to judge it, and to think about it calmly. Until I understood it without having to agree with it. But the path to get there is rocky. It consists of many inner imprints and limiting ideas that must be endured and overcome. My most important insight in this process was that it's not so much about what someone says, but about where someone is looking at the situation from. This means that everyone is right in their own view. The question is where they are looking at something from and how big their perspective is. Fascinating! Especially the realization of how small my perspective used to be and still is sometimes today. That teaches tolerance. And for me, it's a reason to write a book about this inner struggle.
Strong leader and want to understand – those being led want to be understood
Those who succeed in understanding deeply without having to agree with things recognize understanding as the basis. As a learning turbo for success. That is also what effective leadership is all about. Smart leader to understand. They want to understand the world. Understand markets and processes. Understand people. Understand themselves. Those who are led want to be understood in their situation and with their possibilities. Are there also examples that are the exact opposite? Absolutely! That's why I write "smart leader" here.
Not getting lost in the fog of wanting to be understood and keeping a clear view is therefore the subject of my new book, "Understanding does not mean agreeing." Step by step, you will find guidance for your personal growth here. You will learn how to listen wisely, evaluate more differentiatedly, quickly change perspectives, and broaden your view. Until you finally understand. You will sharpen your senses, get to the heart of the matter more quickly, and make smarter decisions. And most importantly, you will experience greater success and fulfillment in life. That's how it was for me. And for many others who have taken a closer look at "understanding without having to agree." Guaranteed!
Because those who understand act out of conviction. They develop a sense of purpose, become free inside—and win. And in doing so, they become the best they can be. That's why you can now find information about my book online at www.wer-versteht-gewinnt.de. After reading the sample chapter, you will know for sure whether the book is for you or not.
I am curious to hear what you think. Please write to me and tell me about your experiences. Videos about the graphics and content from the book are available on YouTube.
Yours, Boris Grundl
