From ME to WE.

Which is better? A person who only ever strengthens their own ego? Or a person who promotes the common good? "The common good, of course!" I hear you say. And with good reason. But what about a person whose ego has no inner strength? What can they contribute to the common good? How can they give something to the WE that they themselves do not possess? How can they convey strength to someone else when they themselves lack it? It's astonishing. Everywhere, self-interest is denounced and condemned as negative. That's why many people portray themselves as "sacrificial heroes or heroines."It goes down well.

A thought experiment: "You're selfish!" "Why?" "Because you only care about yourself.""Okay. And who else should I care about?""Well, me, of course!"... Egoism is a dirty word and should be banished to the underground. There it will fester. That's how people learn to act altruistically, even though their thinking revolves only around themselves. And then we're surprised when we're confronted with the wolf in sheep's clothing. The halo becomes hypocrisy. Yet selfishness is neither good nor bad. It is a stage of human development. An intermediate step on the path to thinking beyond oneself. Because those who have not sufficiently filled their ego must constantly continue to fill it covertly. Only when it is full can a person be free from the slavery of their ego. It's a pity that many never experience this.

Altruism is the opposite of selfishness—the best-known example being Mother Teresa. Two years after her death, she was beatified by Pope John Paul II. Rightly so. And faster than anyone before her. Of course, she is not above criticism. She is said to have been very harsh in implementing her spartan attitude. This also raises a thought experiment: Is someone who experiences deep fulfillment by helping the poor and the weak selfish? An interesting thought, isn't it? My provocative thesis is this: Someone with the strength of Mother Teresa has a powerful, developed ego that has transformed itself into a WE.

These two poles, "ME and WE" can be found everywhere. In fact, they are present in our interactions with the people who influence our lives, but also intellectually and emotionally within ourselves. People who become the best they can be develop from a fulfilled, contented ME to a WE. The desire to help others then elevates the ME to a higher level. Unless, that is, an unfilled ME goes underground and enslaves its owner. ME pole and WE pole – self-interest and the larger context with which we connect and to which we feel committed. Perhaps you know this feeling: at some point, enough is enough with ME, ME, ME. It gets boring. It annoys you. This is exactly where the transformation to WE begins.

Here is an analogy that describes how people develop: A soccer game lasts 2 x 45 minutes. In the first half, they play toward a goal that we call the I goal. After the break at halftime, they play toward the WE goal. But those who miss the break and continue to blindly attack the old goal will only score own goals in the second half. And those who have not strengthened the I in the first half often remain alarmingly weak in the second half because they have nothing to contribute. Only a strong I has the power to make the WE stronger.

Parents with mentally mature children have experienced it: the family as a haven of harmony as long as the children are young. Then they break away, assert themselves, rebel. Eventually, they discover their new sense of self and take their place in the family again. But what happens when weak parents block the development of self-identity through oppression or overindulgence? Teenagers cannot find their place. Because they cannot determine their position in a community, their wounded ego replaces their sense of community. Instead of healthy self-interest, this gives rise to pathological egoism, which degrades fellow human beings to slaves of their selfishness.

That's why: without a strong ME, there can be no strong WE. Whether in your family, workplace, or club: promote a strong ME and demand a strong WE. As leader smart leader , you leader confident employees with a strong sense of self and legitimate self-interest, a healthy egoism. Because every WE benefits from the strength of its parts, just as an orchestra benefits from its strong soloists. This way,"team spirit"does not become a welcome excuse for lemmings, followers, shirkers, and yes-men.

A weak leader tolerate the self-actualization of others. A confident leader skilled and quick to adopt and live both perspectives: the I and the WE. Excessive egoists are people with a weak sense of self who are unable to contribute to something greater. Only when a person has found their self do they possess enough inner greatness to turn to others—without fear of missing out. They know there is enough for everyone. And they understand what François de La Rochefoucauld meant when he said, "Self-interest blinds some and enlightens others."