Oh, what I could do if it weren't for all this stress... Stress is a classic excuse. Haven't we all complained at some point that stress is getting to be too much? We feel powerless and helpless in the face of this seemingly insurmountable obstacle. We want to avoid stress, yet it flatters us with a certain boost to our self-esteem. Does this sound familiar?
Stress as an intangible status symbol
There has been a development in which stress is much more than just an excuse. Imagine two men meeting in a bar on a Friday evening. Let's call them Paul and Jakob. They meet here almost every Friday, but instead of enjoying themselves carefree, their conversation revolves exclusively around their work and stress: "I don't even have time to take a break anymore," sighs Paul, and Jakob replies, "Ask me about it. I've been working overtime every day for weeks and rushing from one appointment to the next." Without realizing it, the two get caught up in a competition. It's not even about avoiding stress, but rather about which of them is under more pressure—which of them is worse off. "But at least you don't have a wife and kids. With all this stress, I can hardly manage to juggle family and work," Paul complains, to which Jakob justifies himself: "You don't know my boss. I don't even get a chance to meet anyone."
[Opt-in box excuses]
What is happening here once again sharpens the image of our society. The term stress is less to be understood as an excuse and is evolving into an intangible status symbol. Because the fact is: the higher our stress level, the more needed we feel and the more successful we appear to be to the outside world. That is why we begin to define ourselves by this victim role. It gives us a sense of purpose. However, many of us fail to see how much we are harming ourselves with this pattern of thinking. We only perceive our own point of view and are usually not even aware that we are entangled in excuses. At the same time, we completely ignore new opportunities and possibilities.
Those who regularly use stress as an excuse get caught in a downward spiral. And we have to break out of it!
I also had to make a decision.
I know this feeling well myself. After my accident, I stood before an inner door: victim role—yes or no?
Certainly, some things would have been easier if I had defined myself as a victim, at first! At the same time, looking back, I can say: Thank goodness I decided against it. Where would I be today if I had hidden behind the role of victim? I would never have been able to achieve what I have today.
I was faced with a choice and I consciously decided against it: from today's perspective, an important and good choice!
Breaking out of this mental vicious circle sounds easy. From my own experience, I can say that it isn't. It's a learning process—one that takes time, energy, and focus. And this process can be applied to victim roles, stress, and many other excuses.
Stress as an excuse? The path to a self-determined and free life
So what can you do? Start by transforming stress as an excuse into a question: "What do I need to change so that I can balance my resources and goals in an emotional equilibrium between stress and relaxation?"
Believe me, recognizing our own excuses requires a great deal of courage. We must be prepared to look in the mirror without reservation. And the reasons why we have hidden this part of our personality until now can sometimes run very deep. That is why recognizing them can be painful. But only those who overcome their inner limitations will no longer be held back by external obstacles.
Whether you use accidents, work, or stress as excuses: with every excuse you overcome, fulfillment and success in your life increase. And I promise you, a self-determined and free life awaits you. I have walked this path many times, and it is always worth it—no matter how long it takes. Hopefully, you will succeed too!
Yours, Boris Grundl
P.S.: Do you want to recognize your excuses and overcome them for good? I will give you the tools you need for a freer and more self-determined life. Interested? Read my new, completely revised book "Get up! The end of all excuses."
Image by Jonny Lindner on Pixabay
