Do you know what the highest form of loyalty to your company and equally at home in your relationship is?
Address the things that bother you! Without assigning blame, without judging these things, without trying to boost your own ego or flatter yourself. But why should you address it?
There is only one meaningful motive. Ultimately, all your activities must lead to one thing: improving your business! Or improving and deepening your relationship. When you address what is bothering you, it is best to always have two possible solutions up your sleeve.
Dispel doubts
How many leaders you know CAN address or listen to and accept such things themselves? Perhaps you also think from time to time: "Addressing what bothers me... who knows—does my boss even listen to me...?"
Admittedly, this is anything but easy. The most important thing is to be clear about your motives. Be aware of why you are tackling the issue. If it only serves the above-mentioned, entirely human sensitivities, it is better to wait. Ask yourself what YOU can change in your inner attitude so that it serves the purpose of the company. Only then should you prepare for the conversation.
From other blog posts, you already know what the prerequisite is, or rather, what your counterpart must "give"you in order for you to engage in a meaningful exchange: That's right, emotional receptiveness, which is your justification for addressing them.
Practical tips for the interview
How can you get them to be open to this?
- First, explore the most important need of your counterpart, because that is what we are always most interested in.
- What value does this correspond to, what emotion does it serve in him? This feeds his "why," his motivations.
- Ask the following question: "Am I correct in understanding that aspect y is particularly important to you because z?"
- If the expected "yes"follows, you should ask a second question, which is slightly different depending on your goal:
- "Are you interested in information that will help you achieve your goal x more effectively?" However, if your conversation partner is trying to avoid a certain topic, you should rephrase the question accordingly: "Are you interested in information that will help prevent y from happening?"
- If the relationship between you is intact, he will say "Yes, of course."
- The timing of the conversation also plays a crucial role: the door must be open. Your conversation partner must have time and signal that they are ready to talk to you. Once you have clarified what the strongest form of loyalty is, address the sore point. Important: always limit yourself to one issue at a time!
- Speak constructively and solution-oriented—in matching mode. (You can learn more about matching mode in the seminar "The Power of Language").
You should always expect resistance. In such cases, use the tool"understanding without agreeing"and consciously move on to the second pillar of leadership: how to let yourself be led. Also, be aware that everyone has their own personal worldview and may see some things very differently, but that does not make them any less right than you.
I wish you the clarity of mind to recognize your own motives and a healthy, stable sense of self-worth. So that you can use your loyalty in a constructive way to improve the company.
