Did you know that you have an inner voice? Don't believe it? Then we need to correct you. You have one too. Yes—you! And your inner voice is more influential than you probably think.
Imagine the following scenario: You want to work out at the gym. You come home after a long day at work. Suddenly, two voices pop up in your head. One says, "Go work out, you lazy bum!" The other one says, "You're too tired to work out after this long day!" The longer you listen to this inner dialogue, the more you don't want to go to the gym. In short, your inner voice is keeping you from getting active.
Another example: As a single person, you see a very likeable, attractive person in the pedestrian zone whom you would love to get to know. You feel the need to approach him or her. At that very moment, your inner voice pipes up: "You're not good enough," "you're not smart enough,""you're not attractive enough,"or "that person probably already has a partner and doesn't want to be approached." Here, too, you follow your inner dialogue. The result: an encounter never takes place.
Today's article is about
- what the inner voice is,
- what influence it has on our behavior,
- how to overcome the voice that tells you that you are not up to a task ahead,
- which intervention strategy you can use to make your inner voice work for you rather than against you.
What exactly is the inner voice?
"There is a champion and a loser, an angel and a devil, a hero and a villain inside you. All of these live within you. The question is, which one will win today?"
(Blair Singer)
The inner voice is nothing more than our subconscious speaking to us. It is the sum total of, for example, our beliefs, experiences, or deepest convictions.
Further examples:
- I'm too old to...
- I can't speak in front of groups...
- I don't look so good...
- I could never write a book...
- Who would want to see a movie made by me?
The challenge is that our inner voice often sounds very logical. Therefore, we tend to follow it without questioning it. There are always situations in which our inner voice protects us and warns us of danger. We call this intuition.
In many contexts, however, internal dialogue tends to be counterproductive and limiting. Scientific studies show that we have around 60,000 individual thoughts every day. However, only three percent of these are positive and work in our favor. The question is: Does the voice in this situation correspond to reality, or is it based on experiences we had several months or years ago?
What impact can our inner voice have on our behavior?
Imagine the following scenario: Four months ago, you lent a friend $500. He promised to pay you back after four weeks. Eight weeks later? Still no money in your account. After you finally got the money back, another friend contacts you. He now wants to borrow €100 from you. What does your inner voice immediately tell you? "Last time, we got pretty screwed over. You can't trust people. Better not do it!"
In our inner dialogue, we often do not critically examine whether the inner voice is right or wrong in this situation. Most of the time, it issues a warning, which we then follow. In relation to the money example: perhaps the second person has previously repaid the money on time five times. However, I automatically project the first friend onto the situation.
Here comes the tragic part of the scenario: a great relationship based on trust can be destroyed in the blink of an eye. It all depends on the memories and negative emotions that have been stored up and are suddenly triggered by an impulse. Thousands of memories from your life are stored in your subconscious. However, you hardly ever think about them in everyday life. They only rise to the surface—into your consciousness—when the right trigger comes along.
Intervention technique: the stimulus-response model
The stimulus-response technique can help you to consciously perceive your inner voice and win it over. It states that there is a kind of gap between every stimulus that flows into a person and the response to it. This gap is also described as"freedom"or "responsibility.responsibilityDo you know people who fly off the handle at the slightest stimulus? Or do you know people who can skillfully deal with stimuli, for example, by not immediately becoming emotional? They take in the stimulus, analyze it, and then respond thoughtfully. The greater the space between stimulus and response, the greater the scope for choosing your own response. The model was developed by Austrian neurologist Viktor Frankl. He survived several concentration camps and said about his time in the camps:
"They could take everything from me in the concentration camp: my family, my clothes, my dignity, my physical strength, most of my food. But there was one thing they couldn't take from me: my thoughts, how I interpret all these things!"
How do you interpret the thousands of thoughts that flow through your mind every day? Do you follow them unconditionally or do you question them?
"I can't help what thoughts circle around in my head. But I can certainly help whether I allow them to build a nest there."
(Martin Luther)
Every kind of inner voice is initially a stimulus.
We would like to invite you to do the following: Before you follow this voice, i.e., react to it, check whether your inner voice is working for or against you in this context. Metaphorically speaking, is your inner voice more like a devil, possibly based on your experiences in recent years, and completely inappropriate in this context? Or is the voice an angel that supports you on your way to achieving your goals and serves you well?
Inner voices—whether good or bad—are allowed to surface. The important thing is that we consciously perceive and examine them, rather than simply accepting them as a given. It is much more important to adapt them to the context so that they benefit our development and well-being.
We hope you enjoy listening to and consciously guiding your inner voices.
Your team at the Grundl Leadership Institute
Image source: ©pixabay – Alexas_Fotos
