Müller stands before his boss and demands,"It's time to increase my salary again!" The boss looksat himcriticallyand says, "What about your results? If I'm not mistaken, they're no better than last year."It's interesting what's happening here: Müller is demanding more money for the same performance – and he's not just concerned with the amount, but also with fairness. "Since I'm better than Meier, I should earn more than him."That's how he thinks, falling into the trap of the superiority illusion.
It is natural for people to compare themselves to others. However, what blinds us is the clouded lens through which we often view ourselves. A global bestseller states:
It is easier to see the speck in someone else's eye than the log in your own.
We see other people's mistakes more clearly than an eagle, but when it comes to ourselves, we become blind moles.
This is how perceived superiority arises: the illusion of superiority
It is further fueled by our strong desire for dominance. That is why Müller also needs to feel that he is better, faster, smarter, more attractive, healthier, or richer than all the Meiers in the world. Because that is how people tick, they choose the easier of two paths: more money for the same performance or more money for better results. The more comfortable Müller path leads to devaluing others in order to feel greater. The more strenuous, sustainable path is to stay true to yourself, develop yourself, and produce better results—in order to earn what you want to earn.
And so Müller doesn't ask what he can do to increase his value to the company. From his point of view, he doesn't need to. Because he feels superior to the Meiers of this world anyway. If you want to dispel your illusion of superiority, you have to figure yourself out and distinguish between smart and stupid comparisons—and thus between inspiration and stagnation.
Stupid comparisons see and overemphasize the other person's shortcomings. Why improve when I'm already better than the other person? The result is paralysis and stagnation. Smart comparisons scan the other person for their strengths and what we can learn from them. It's a kind of "cherry picking" that inspires and awakens a desire for development.
Inferiority complex at work
A familiar scene: when self-proclaimed smart alecks at the regulars' table badmouth the powerful of the world, it gives them a feeling of greatness, of superiority. The collective put-down reduces the gap between their perceived inferiority and the charisma of others. Because this only has a short-term effect, the ritual must be repeated weekly. This is a simple, easily recognizable inferiority complex at work. But the more intelligent people are, the more cleverly they mask their illusion of superiority.
Intelligence disguises envy as moral reproach. The achievements of others are reduced to their appearance, relationships, inherited wealth, or unscrupulousness.
"If you want to get to know people, study their excuses."
The poet Christian Friedrich Hebbel already recognized this.
So if you want more out of life than you have had so far, you shouldn't just raise your expectations, but work on your impact. The smartest thing to do would be not to compare yourself to others. Stay true to yourself. Easy to say, very difficult to do. But if you do compare yourself to others, then please do so wisely. Make sure that your comparison leads to inspiration and respect rather than stagnation and hidden envy. First, come to this realization yourself, and then help your colleague Müller do the same. Not the other way around!
That's why you're not really happy.
Why success and fulfillment have nothing to do with each other.
Image source: ©pixabay – Alexas_Fotos
