All the figures show that our country is very successful economically. But although we have immense opportunities in this era of constant change, we seem to be bleeding emotionally and becoming mentally ill. It's frightening. Let's try to explain why.
Albert Bandura coined the wonderful term "self-efficacy." According to his research, it means the belief that you can master even difficult situations on your own. Without this central aspect of human development, we often don't even take on challenges in the first place. As helpful as self-efficacy is in recognizing potential, it is difficult to observe and develop in everyday life.
My belief that I can make a difference in a situation has a lot to do with whether I focus on things I can influence or whether I turn my attention to things that interest me but are beyond my control. What I can influence is my sphere of influence. What merely interests me is my sphere of interest. If the shortest route to an appointment is a staircase, then as a wheelchair user, this falls within my sphere of interest. But I am powerless against the stairs on my own. Searching for another route or for help to overcome the steps is my sphere of influence. It quickly becomes clear where my emotional energy should be directed.
This means that there are two important levels of development:
- When leading others, I have to get people to rely on themselves. Only then do they have the chance to develop their self-efficacy. And I also have to give them real influence. If the influence remains with the leader , the whole thing leader a farce. Something like this: responsibility results, yes. The influence to ensure this, no. This feeds the leader self-affirmation leader a sense of power. However, it blocks the development of employees.
- In self-management, I need to understand why I am so preoccupied with this area of interest.
As a coach, I meet too many people who invest a great deal of emotional energy in an area of interest that is beyond their control. I wonder why people pump so much energy into areas of interest when the result is frustration. If I complain loudly in my wheelchair in front of the stairs, I'm sure to get agreement from other complainers, with whom I could probably find many other reasons for the injustice of the world. But I'm not getting any closer to my goal, and mentally I feel like I'm constantly banging my head against a wall.
It took me a while to realize what was going on. When I become aware of my true sphere of influence, two things happen: First, I realize how much influence I actually have. This is the first reality shock for those whose self-image is much greater than reality. Such things do happen. Second, I take on much more responsibility my sphere of influence, which makes me measurable and vulnerable. For some, this is the second reality shock. And if I don't want to face this reality, I get caught up in things I can't change and complain.
For me, this means:
An immature character can be recognized by the frequency and form of their complaints. I still remember very clearly how I found my way out of welfare after my accident. It was extremely painful to realize that my financial influence was limited to buying a pair of jeans for DM 3.60. But today, I am able to live a life of financial freedom in Spain and Germany. And I am still very aware of every step of my mental growth that led me there.
That's why I'm convinced:
If you focus on what is there, you can make more of it. And then you just see how far you can get. But if you get too emotionally caught up in your interests, you will tread water and become increasingly frustrated. Please help others to act on this simple but profound insight. I would be very grateful if you did. And the best thing is to start right away. Again and again. Every day.
That's why you're not really happy.
Why success and fulfillment have nothing to do with each other.
