The interplay of values and conflicts

As long as humans exist on planet Earth, there will always be conflicts. Individuals with a wide variety of goals and values in relation to themselves, other people, social groups or organizations, and states are often incompatible with the goals and ideas of the respective "other" party. Depending on how they are handled or resolved, conflicts can have a dysfunctional or functional effect. The latter can be the cause of change.

An exercise from our management training courses: Think back to a conflict you experienced that led to a positive change after it was resolved. This can be from your everyday management life or your private life. How did you feel after the conflict was resolved? How do you feel when you think back on the conflict itself?

Regardless of whether a conflict is latent or manifest, the various interests and goals, values, factual and relational aspects play an important role in finding a solution. If, for example, the consequences and goals of an action are assessed differently by the two parties to the conflict, this is a conflict of assessment. In contrast, relationship conflicts, also known as emotional conflicts, are based on the assumption that every person has a basic need for acceptance and recognition. If this basic need is violated, it often leads to feelings of incompetence and powerlessness.

What values and motives are behind the conflict?

To help resolve a conflict, it’s important to be aware of the underlying motives and values. If you’re in a conflict, ask yourself: Which of your values is being violated by the other person? Which of the other person’s values are you violating? The key question is always:“What is really at stake for me—and for the other person?”

To resolve conflicts, it is not only important to know your own values and, ideally, those of the other person, but also to be aware of your conflict management style or conflict type. Ending a conflict involves, on the one hand, the desire to satisfy your own interests and, on the other hand, the desire to satisfy common interests.

There are five conflict management styles:

Source: Wahren (1994), p. 199

The Avoider

The "avoider" has little desire to satisfy their own interests and those of others. They are likely to withdraw from the conflict. The conflict is often ignored in the hope that it will be resolved bureaucratically. This approach is unproductive for both sides, especially when it comes to important issues, as it does not lead to clarification. In addition, further potential for conflict builds up, which will have to be dealt with at a later date.

The Fighter

For the "fighter," satisfying their own interests is the main priority. The need to satisfy shared interests is low. Competition between opponents and/or suppression can be expected. This type of person tries to assert their own needs through power and authority. This type of conflict resolution is also characterized by the manipulation of information and power struggles. At first, this strategy seems promising. In the long term, however, enormous costs, countervailing power, and a deterioration of the relationship are to be expected.

The cooperation type

The "cooperative type" is characterized by a strong desire to satisfy both individual and shared interests. Cooperative collaboration in conflict resolution is possible. By disclosing differences and interests, both parties can work together to find an alternative/solution that benefits everyone.

The Adapter

The "conformist" focuses primarily on satisfying shared interests and neglects their own needs. In the "conformist strategy," one party submits and puts the relationship first. This type of conflict management often does not lead to a long-term solution, but rather to a postponement of the conflict.

The cooperative fighter

The "cooperative competitor" takes into account both their own values and needs and the interests of their opponent. Only when both positions are clear is a solution sought in which both sides can win.

Experience shows that one or two types of conflict are typically pronounced in each of us.

• Which types are particularly prominent in your company?
• When you reflect on past conflicts, which values were frequently violated in your case?
• If you tend to have a dysfunctional conflict management style, what could be your next step toward gradually developing a functional conflict management style?

If youtrulywant to gain a deep understandingoftheinterplay between values and conflicts, then take advantage of theCreating Systemsmodule in our online learning platform. You’ll receive clear, step-by-step guidance on how to elevate your personal integrity to the next level and make a lasting impact. If you consistently work through this module, we guarantee you a personal breakthrough in this area. (Simply click the button to access exclusive video content and practical workbooks.)

Image source:©Everypixel